How Shifting Our Perspective Can Transform Our Lives

We all have moments where we wish we could change the behaviors of those around us—whether it's a spouse, a coworker, or even a close friend. It's a natural desire, especially when their actions impact our own lives in ways that feel uncomfortable or frustrating. However, deep down, we know that the only person we have the power to change is ourselves. It's a truth that can be tough to accept, and it becomes even more challenging when we realize that the change we need isn't in someone else, but within ourselves.

This reality often hits hard, especially when we're facing major life decisions. Whether it's a lifestyle overhaul, a career shift, or an attitude adjustment, acknowledging that the change must start with us is daunting. I've encountered this challenge many times in my own life.

For instance, there was a period when I knew I needed to adopt a healthier lifestyle. I was feeling sluggish, uninspired, and my energy levels were at an all-time low. I tried to blame it on my busy schedule, the stress of work, or even the people around me who seemed to have an endless supply of energy. But the truth was, no one else could make me prioritize my health—I had to make that choice for myself. The initial step was difficult, but once I accepted that the power to change was in my hands, I started to see positive results.

Another example is in my career. There was a time when I felt stuck in a job that no longer fulfilled me. I found myself growing increasingly resentful, and I often wished that my workplace would change or that my colleagues would behave differently. However, it became clear that the dissatisfaction I was experiencing was not about others; it was about my own need for growth and challenge. The decision to pursue a new path wasn't easy, but it was necessary. It required me to take a hard look at myself and recognize that my happiness and fulfillment were my responsibility.

Even with my attitude, I've had to confront the reality that my perspective on situations often shaped my experiences more than the situations themselves. There were times when I allowed negativity to cloud my judgment, expecting others to adjust their behavior to accommodate my mood. It wasn't until I realized that I needed to change my own mindset that I began to see the world differently. Changing my attitude allowed me to approach life with a sense of optimism and possibility that I hadn't felt in years.

These experiences taught me a valuable lesson: while we can't control the actions of others, we can control our reactions, our choices, and ultimately, our own lives. This is where the real power lies—in taking ownership of our responses and decisions.

One of the most helpful tools I've found in navigating this reality is reminding myself that "everyone is doing the best that they can." This simple sentiment has been a game-changer for me. It allows me to approach situations with compassion and understanding, both towards others and towards myself. When we acknowledge that everyone, including ourselves, is doing their best with the resources, knowledge, and circumstances they have, it becomes easier to let go of the need to control or change others.

This perspective doesn't mean we excuse harmful behavior or avoid making necessary changes. Rather, it helps us approach those changes from a place of empathy and self-awareness. When we accept that others are doing their best, we're less likely to take their actions personally and more likely to focus on what we can do to improve our own lives.

In my journey, I've found that change is less about forcing others to act differently and more about adapting my own approach. Whether it's shifting my mindset, altering my habits, or making a bold career move, the power to create the life I want is in my hands.

The Wise Woman says . . .

If you find yourself frustrated by the actions of others or feeling stuck in a situation where change seems impossible, I encourage you to take a step back and consider what changes you can make within yourself. It may not be easy, but it's the most effective way to move forward. And as you do, remember that everyone, including you, is doing the best that they can. This mindset might just be the key to unlocking the change you've been seeking.

By embracing this perspective, we can all find the strength to make the changes we need, not by altering the behavior of others, but by transforming ourselves. Remember, that you can’t change anyone but yourself.