Lessons in Resilience

Life, for all its beauty and wonder, has a way of throwing curveballs. My journey has been a series of exhilarating highs and devastating lows. Resounding successes. Crushing defeats. And while it’s easy to celebrate the wins, the defeats can leave you questioning your worth, your decisions, and sometimes even your ability to keep going.

Some of my wins and losses have stemmed from my relentless drive to challenge myself—to step out of my comfort zone and reach for more. Others were simply life happening: circumstances beyond my control. That knowledge doesn’t necessarily make it easier to deal with the pain of a setback, especially in those moments when I feel the weight of judgment—not just from others, but from myself.

When I’m in the thick of it, that self-judgment can be the hardest burden to bear. It’s so easy to think, Why didn’t I see this coming? or I should have handled this better. But as I reflect on these experiences, I’ve come to one important realization: no matter how hard I fall, I always bounce back.

Bouncing Back

Looking back, my life reads like a testament to resilience.

·        A failed marriage taught me the importance of self-love and knowing my worth, even when others fail to recognize it.

·        Bankruptcy was a humbling lesson in starting over and redefining my relationship with money, success, and priorities.

·        Grief from losing loved ones reminded me of the fragility and preciousness of life—and the need to cherish the time we have.

·        Betrayal by friends and partners showed me that not everyone deserves a front-row seat in my life and the power of setting boundaries.

In every instance, the pain felt insurmountable at first. I doubted my strength and wondered if I could ever recover. But I did. Over and over again, I found a way to rebuild, move forward, and grow stronger.

The Tools That Helped Me Rise

I didn’t just “bounce back” by chance. Over time, I’ve developed a toolkit of practices and mindsets that help me face adversity head-on and emerge stronger.

1.      Giving Myself Time and Space to Heal
Recovery isn’t linear, and healing doesn’t happen overnight. I’ve learned to stop rushing the process and instead give myself permission to grieve, reflect, and regroup. Whether it’s journaling, taking long walks, or simply sitting in silence, I allow myself to feel the emotions without judgment.

2.      Learning from the Experience
Every setback carries a lesson, even if it’s not immediately apparent. I’ve started to ask myself, What is this trying to teach me? For example, my financial struggles taught me about living with intention, and failed relationships revealed patterns I needed to break.

3.      Leaning on My Support System
I used to think asking for help was a sign of weakness. But I’ve come to realize it’s one of the bravest things you can do. Whether it’s confiding in a trusted friend, seeking professional support, or leaning on my spiritual practices, I’ve learned to let others help me carry the load.

4.      Trusting That ‘This Too Shall Pass’
In the darkest moments, it can feel like the pain will last forever. But time and time again, I’ve seen that it doesn’t. Holding onto the mantra “this too shall pass” helps me focus on the bigger picture and reminds me that no feeling is permanent.

5.      Celebrating My Wins—No Matter How Small
Resilience isn’t just about enduring the bad times; it’s also about celebrating the good. Even in moments of despair, I’ve made it a point to find small victories to appreciate. Sometimes that’s as simple as getting out of bed, making a nourishing meal, or reaching out to a friend.

The Wise Woman says . . .

One thing I’ve realized is that resilience isn’t a fixed trait—it’s a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets. And just like any muscle, it needs care, rest, and proper nourishment. I’ve learned to treat myself with the same compassion I’d offer a friend in crisis.

If you’re navigating your own crushing defeat right now, I want to remind you of something important: you are stronger than you think. The fact that you’ve made it this far is a testament to your strength and resilience. You’ve faced hard things before, and you’ve risen. This challenge, too, will pass—and when it does, you’ll emerge wiser, stronger, and more capable than ever before.

So take a deep breath. Give yourself grace. Trust in your ability to bounce back. Because you will. You always do.