Stop Giving Your Power Away

OK, time to face a harsh reality. I have been guilty—like many of you—of giving my power away.

It usually happens in subtle ways: when I feel cornered into saying “yes” when I really want to say “no,” when I downplay my value because I’m not feeling confident, or when I avoid confrontation to keep the peace. In the moment, it feels easier to go along, but afterward I’m left with the nagging sense that I abandoned myself. Sound familiar?

The good news is, we don’t have to keep repeating that pattern. Every time we choose honesty, courage, and self-respect, we reclaim a little more of our power. So what’s a girl to do? Let’s explore a few simple shifts that can help you stop giving your power away—starting today.

Some Ways We Give Our Power Away

1. Saying “yes” when we mean “no”
   Whether it’s agreeing to help with a project, attending an event you don’t want to go to, or taking on extra work, saying “yes” out of guilt or pressure leaves you feeling drained instead of empowered.
2. Discounting our value
   Maybe you charge less for your services than you’re worth. Maybe you downplay your skills in a meeting. Or maybe you dismiss compliments because you’re uncomfortable owning your strengths. Every time we minimize ourselves, we hand over power.
3. Avoiding conflict at all costs
   It feels safer to stay quiet, but silence can be its own form of surrender. By not speaking up when something matters to you, you give control of the situation to someone else.
4. Seeking constant approval
   When your decisions are based on pleasing others rather than honoring yourself, you become dependent on external validation. That’s a shaky foundation to stand on.

Here’s How to  Stop Doing That!

1. Pause before responding
   If someone asks something of you, don’t rush to answer. Take a breath, check in with yourself, and then respond. A simple, “Let me think about it and get back to you” buys you the time you need to make a choice that feels right.
2. Practice saying “no”
   “No” is not a rejection—it’s a boundary. Start small. Try it with low-stakes situations, like turning down an invitation you’re not excited about. The more you practice, the easier it gets.
3. Own your value
   Make a list of your strengths, accomplishments, and qualities you’re proud of. When doubt creeps in, read it. Remind yourself that you bring something unique and valuable to the table.
4. Speak your truth calmly
   Confrontation doesn’t have to be aggressive. Try phrases like, “That doesn’t work for me,” or “I see it differently.” You can stand firm without raising your voice.
5. Turn inward for approval
   Before seeking someone else’s opinion, ask yourself: What do I want? What feels true for me? Trusting your own judgment is one of the most powerful ways to reclaim your confidence.

The Wise Woman says . . .

Here’s the truth: giving your power away may feel easier in the moment, but it comes at the cost of your peace, your energy, and your sense of self. The good news? You can stop. Right here. Right now. Every time you say “no” with confidence, every time you recognize your worth, every time you choose authenticity over approval—you step back into your power.

So the next time you feel that familiar pull to shrink, to silence yourself, or to go along just to keep the peace, pause and remember: your power is yours. And it’s time to keep it.